When He Doesn’t Understand the Season of Sovereignty

When He Doesn’t Understand the Season of Sovereignty

There comes a time in a woman’s life when her body begins to speak with an ancient voice, one that will not be silenced or molded. This is the Season of Sovereignty. Hormones shift, the body reorganizes its energy, and a woman begins to hear herself again beneath the noise of everyone else’s needs.

For many women, this sacred transformation unfolds while their partner stands confused, frustrated, or distant. Some men take the changes personally. They see withdrawal as rejection, quiet as indifference, a lack of sexual desire as disinterest. Their discomfort often turns outward, into anger, emotional affairs, porn, or escape. The truth is: they are grieving too, but they don’t yet know what they are grieving.

The Misunderstanding

Most men were never taught about women’s cycles beyond menstruation. They don’t know that perimenopause and menopause are not endings but recalibrations, a hormonal, neurological, and spiritual rewiring. When estrogen and progesterone shift, so does the nervous system, libido, temperature regulation, sleep, and emotional sensitivity. The wife they knew begins to move differently in the world, and that can feel foreign to them.

They feel unchosen, unneeded. She feels unseen, unheard. Both are right from their perspective, yet both are missing the deeper story.

For the Women: Coming Home to Your Field
Before reaching for repair with anyone else, the first call is to yourself.
Breathe. Place a hand on your chest. Let your body know she is safe to change. This is your system moving from reproduction into creation,  the power that once built life now builds vision, wisdom, and truth.

Create softness: Warm baths with rose and clary sage, gentle movement, and nourishing teas bring the body back into coherence.
Sleep when your body asks.
Eat whole, warm foods.
Drink water infused with gratitude.
This steadiness makes room for clear communication and heart-led dialogue with your partner.

Having the Conversation

When the distance between you and your partner feels wide, silence can grow heavy. Yet silence protects nothing. Speaking from your heart, clearly and calmly, is one of the most powerful medicines in this season.

1. Begin from Grounded Energy
Before you speak, breathe into your body. Place your hand over your heart or belly. Feel your energy steady. The conversation begins within you,  from calm truth, not from defense. When your nervous system is regulated, your message will be felt rather than fought.

You might begin with:

“Something inside me is changing. I feel it in my body, my emotions, even my thoughts. I want to share this with you because I care about us.”

2. Name What’s Real
Be honest about your experience, without blame. Speak from I instead of you.

“I feel waves of exhaustion and sensitivity. Sometimes I need space to feel myself again.”
“I love you deeply, right now my body and heart are calling for more stillness.”
This invites him to witness you, not defend against you.

3. Give Him a Way In
Many men shut down because they feel lost,  they don’t know what to do. Offer small, clear ways he can support you.

“It helps when you hold me without trying to fix anything.”
“When you ask how I feel, I feel safer opening up.”
“Let’s have tea together before bed. It helps me unwind.”
“I need quiet after work. Can we talk once I’ve had a moment to settle?”
When men have direction, they often soften and meet you there.

4. Education as Love
This conversation can include education,  share what is happening in your body. Explain how hormonal changes affect energy, mood, and desire. Encourage him to learn about perimenopause and menopause. You might watch a short video together or send him an article. It helps him see this season as biology and evolution, not rejection.

5. When He Resists or Reacts
If he becomes defensive or dismissive, breathe and stay anchored. You are not responsible for managing his emotions. His discomfort is a signal of his own growth edge.

Say calmly:

“I can feel this conversation is hard for you. I understand. I’m not attacking you,  I’m sharing what’s true for me.”
If anger arises:

“I’ll step away for now. I’m available to talk when we can do it with care.”
Walking away from conflict in clarity is an act of self-respect, not avoidance.

6. When There’s Betrayal or Disconnection
If your partner seeks comfort elsewhere,  emotionally or physically,  remember that it is his choice, born of his unprocessed pain or immaturity. It is not a reflection of your worth. You can address it with truth and boundaries:

“I see the choices you’re making. I am willing to work on this only if you meet me with honesty and respect. Otherwise, I will continue my healing path on my own.”
You cannot control whether someone chooses growth, but you can choose to remain aligned with your integrity.

7. Keep Communication Open
These conversations are not one-time events; they are living dialogues. The more you honor your own truth, the more space you create for love to evolve into something wiser.

Let your tone remain kind but unwavering. You are teaching your partner how to meet the woman you are becoming.

 
Suggested Support Ritual Before Speaking
Sip a tea made with rose (for the heart), chamomile (for calm), and lemon balm (for clarity).
Tap gently on your collarbone points while saying:

“I allow truth to flow through me with grace. My words carry love and power.”
Then, when you speak, let your voice carry the vibration of peace.

Your words are not only sound,  they are frequency.
And in this season, you are the tuning fork for your household.

Herbal Allies

This season calls for plant allies that soothe, balance, and restore the feminine field. Here are some powerful supports:

Shatavari (Asparagus racemosus): Deeply nourishing for female hormones, supports lubrication, mood, and resilience.
Dong Quai (Angelica sinensis): Tones blood, eases cramps, and stabilizes mood swings.
Black Cohosh (Actaea racemosa): Calms hot flashes, night sweats, and tension.
Damiana (Turnera diffusa): Supports sensual awakening and the heart’s joy.
Ashwagandha (Withania somnifera): Restores adrenal health, soothes anxiety, and brings grounded energy.
Motherwort (Leonurus cardiaca): Softens anger and anxiety, especially when the heart feels heavy.
Blend two or three herbs into a tea, steep for ten minutes, and drink while speaking loving words into the cup. Let each sip remind your body that she is held by the earth.

EFT for the Guilt Women Carry

Women often internalize their partner’s reactions,  “If I were more loving, more sexual, more patient…” But guilt does not heal. Presence does. Say each statement while you tap all of the points. Here’s a short tapping sequence to guide that:

Round 1 – Acknowledgment
Even though I feel guilt for how my body has changed, I honor myself for the sacred transition I’m moving through.

Round 2 – Compassion
Even though his pain hurts me, I choose compassion for both of us. My energy is reorganizing in wisdom.

Round 3 – Power
I now choose to hold my field with clarity. My hormones and heart are finding harmony.

Round 4 – Integration
I am whole. I am radiant. I am becoming the woman I was always meant to be.

A Bridge of Understanding

If you wish, invite him to learn with you. Share resources about the Season of Sovereignty, or sit down together for a cup of tea. Let him witness you in calm strength rather than exhaustion. Remind him that your love is not gone,  it is evolving.

Sometimes, he may awaken alongside you. Sometimes, he will not. Either way, your path is holy.

This is the time of reclamation, wisdom, and self-trust. Your body is leading you home.

Drink your herbs. Tap your heart. Speak your truth.
You are the medicine that restores your world.

Disclaimer

The information shared in this article is intended for educational and informational purposes only. It reflects traditional herbal knowledge and general wellness guidance,  it is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Individuals may respond differently to herbs, supplements, and lifestyle practices. Always consult a qualified healthcare professional before starting any new herbal or wellness regimen, especially if you are taking medications, managing a health condition, or navigating hormonal or emotional changes.

Stone & Bloom Wellness provides holistic education and inspiration to support your well-being journey. Our offerings are designed to empower self-awareness and harmony,  never to replace the care of a trusted healthcare provider.

By engaging with this content, you acknowledge personal responsibility for your health choices and discernment.

Disclaimer
All information shared by Stone & Bloom Wellness,  including written, verbal, and energetic guidance,  is intended for educational and supportive purposes only. It reflects lived experience, holistic research, and intuitive understanding, and is not a substitute for professional medical or psychological care.

Always consult a qualified healthcare provider regarding any concerns about your health, hormones, or emotional well-being. Every body and field responds differently; take what resonates and let go of what feels complete.

By engaging with this content, you honour your own sovereignty and assume full responsibility for your choices, your energy, and your healing journey.